lilli loves kim stern and i love documentaries.

we've had a pretty busy week here at the Sever house.  gareth's good friend kim stern visited for a couple days from new york.  we took kim to the table rock lake visitor center where lilli got up close and personal to stuffed dead animals.  we went out to eat at thai thai of course.  and last night we went to the new steak place at the landing.  it.  was.  delicious.   

lilli really loved being around kim stern.  (she called her by her whole name all of the time)  she became attached to her immediately.  partly because of the huge lollipop she brought her but mainly because well, kids just love her.  they sang all of the time and lilli danced for her every chance she got.  we went to see dixie the night she got here and the next gareth was sick so we had a "ladies day out"  with shopping and lunching.  she left this morning and it was nice to have her here.

last night i watched a documentary called New Year Baby that was amazing.  i cried throughout the whole movie!   it is about a lady my age who was born in a thai refugee camp.  her family had been in a labor camp during the genocide of cambodia.  she travels with her parents back to cambodia to see for herself what they went through.  her journey leads her to many discoveries and an even stronger love for her parents.  it has stuck with me because it made me realize how important it is to know your culture and history.   my goal is to know more of this in me and to teach lilli.  i'll keep you guys posted!  i wonder how many people don't know about the many genocide that have happened in this world and how many actually happened in our lifetime.  i was pretty clueless about cambodia.  i do know of the rwanda genocide.  and there is even one going on right now in the sudan.  it is very hard to grasp the thought of wiping out races of people.  go here to learn more about the documentary: 

http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/newyearbaby/index.html?campaign=pbshomefeatures_3_independentlensbrnewyearbaby_2008-05-27.

changes to be made

i went to the landing friday night dressed in the jeans i wear everyday and the t shirt i wear everyday.  my hair was pulled up in a pony tail and of course no make up.  i believe that i was the frumpiest frump down there!  i was getting jealous of all the gals all dolled up...and smiling and stuff.  right there in front of the sunglass hut i realized that i was using my pregnancy as an excuse ALREADY!  i have been sicky here and there but i could at least change my pants.  or brush my hair.  put lipgloss on.  trim my toenails.  

since then (i know it is only monday) i have done my hair and made an effort not to look like i just woke up all day long.  and i have felt sooo much better about myself.  

so it makes me think of the funks people get in.  and how that funk makes other funks.  and what it takes to notice yourself in one.  maybe everyone should do a funk check on themselves.  are you using an excuse of some sort that might be making you less fulfilled?  the answer might come to you at a random time but when it does watch out now!  because getting yourself out of it has a domino effect.  for example, now that i'm not a slob, my house isn't one either!  my home is spotless for the first time since... before winter?  i have more energy to exercise so i want to eat better.  it all falls into place.  and it all goes back to one sentence i said to myself:  i'm not using me being pregnant as an excuse anymore.  

so check out some of your random thoughts that might be affecting your whole day.  it could be "i hate my job" "i hate my allergies"  "i don't have time"  once you realize what it is there will surely be some changes made.

Okay, i'm bringing the sappy...

a week ago, tornadoes swept through the area.  i don't  usually freak out about tornadoes, so when the sirens went off i just sorta took my time gathering up Lilli and the dogs to go down to the basement.  Gareth called from work to remind me of all the things to do and we quickly got off the phone.  

i turned the TV up so i could hear the updates from the news and held Lilli tight.  the news reporter was announcing a few fatalities and that is when i totally changed.  i looked at lilli and knew she was going to be safe.  after all, she would have a recently doughier mom to protect her.  but hearing about the deaths i realized that there was no guaranty of safety.  i didn't feel totally confident that i was going to make it for some reason.  my mind was suddenly on Gareth.  i thought about how much i wish i said i love you more and kissed him and all the gooey stuff.  i grabbed my phone to call him.  i was just going to say i love you.  but he was already calling me to say that the tornado warning was over.  phew...  it is weird the thoughts that go through your mind when you're not sure of the ya know... outcome.  

i know it has only been a week but i've been working on something since then:  to notice Gareth more.  it is a great way to be aware and grateful.  one thing for certain is that i'm lucky.  to be married to Gareth.  

so go notice your loved ones people!  you just might see something you've been missing.