every once in awhile, i am stopped abruptly in my tracks. where i want to stand as still as possible and soak up the scene. the biggest example of that happened to me yesterday. and maybe you guys wont get it or think this story is random but i tell you that this moment told me that i am on the right track in life. my everyday hugs to my Lilli and kisses and i love yous have not gone unnoticed by my 3 year old (wow she seems way older than that).
lilli doesn't like to poop. or pee. she still gets fun stuff for pooping because that means she didn't try to hold it in. every few months though... watch out. she totally doesn't want to "go" so after a couple days it just piles up and then... we have total blockage. so then comes the need for "bummy medicine" to say the least she does NOT like it.
yesterday was a time for bummy meds. she never cries. never. but when we got the bummy med out she went nuts. unfortunately after the dose, she still didn't poop. a few hours later, after a swig of prune juice, she finally dropped the ol' deuce. we celebrated with song and dance and she was so proud.
wayyy later that night she and i were brushing our teeth together. being silly. and out of nowhere she says "mom, i'm sorry that i didn't want to do the bummy medicine earlier." i froze! i had already tucked that situation away. and here was this tiny girl who felt bad for being upset and wanted to apologize for something that happened 10 hours earlier. and she's three. i wanted to pick her up and kiss her and hug her and kiss her and squeeze her and tell the world: i have an amazing compassionate sweet kind smart daughter!!! she frequently says stuff that amazes me daily. but this. this was her telling me she felt bad for something that we never would have asked her to apologize for. and at that moment when we were brushing our teeth and being silly, she wanted to tell me how she felt. and when she did, my eyes welled up (as they are right now) and i held her tight, too tight probably and soaked it in.
and isn't that what life as a parent is about? you can constantly worry about poop and pee and sneezing and runny nose and eating enough and fitting in and being polite and not watching too much tv and spending quality time. and then a simple act brings you back to the real deal. in this present moment. my daughter is loving. isn't that what we really want? love! and our kids to be full of love! i think that is right. and i am telling you guys this because of course i am proud that perhaps i have done something right so far in this mommyhood adventure. but i also want to soak it up. keep this feeling alive for a little while longer. and perhaps reread this when she is a teenager...
