fat fatness.

i was a little insane when i said that i would be posting a picture of myself in order to inspire me to lose the baby weight.  i don't need to torture myself.  we recently got a wii fit and you have to set up a profile.  the board that you stand on weighs you and can tell you very interesting things like where your center of gravity is or how poor your posture is... and how ENORMOUS you are.  it really is quite lovely.  you tell it your height and they combined it with your weight to make a cartoon (aka mii) that is physically accurate.  so in a matter of seconds my mii developed a spare tire.  and the screen told me that i am overweight.  there was no way that i could tell the wii that i recently had a baby and that my boobs must count for 5lbs because i am nursing and have a VERY healthy milk supply!  i also couldn't tell it that i also developed a pretty big sweet tooth during this pregnancy.  mainly because i perfected the art of making nanaimo bars.  i also perfected the art of eating them.  i would make them for every special occasion like birthdays and christmas and lunch.  losing this weight could be a doozy.

  i honestly had a cranky day earlier this week because i took a long look in the mirror.  i became angry.  it wasn't fair that you gain weight from being pregnant.  not only do you change your everyday actions for the safety of the unborn baby and get to deliver the baby drug free and are put on a short leash with the newborn because you are her food supply, you also get to be 20 pounds larger.  i had worked so hard to get the body i had before.  crossfit is something i was very proud of being a part of.... 

so for a good part of the day i was very "grumpy".  i'd look at my thin/fit husband and get jealous.  then gareth called me on my attitude.  i told him that i couldn't help it.  and he said quietly, "yes you can"  now, at that moment he wasn't saying yes you can lose the weight.  he meant you can change your attitude.  but it snapped me out of my funk immediately.  yes you can.  i realized that i was feeling sorry for myself.  and was forgetting just how lucky i am.  i have 2 beautiful healthy girls, a rad house, and a very very very loving husband that could teach classes on perfecting husband and father skills.  

so with all of that in mind, i am on my way to pre pregnancy form.  but i'm still not putting up a picture!

we also realized that i need more alone time.  today i read the book "the reader".  i still have 3 & 4 of the twilight series to read, but i get wayyyy too involved in those books.  this was a great book.  the author gets pretty deep with why people do and think the way they do.  it is set after the holocaust.  for some reason i have always been drawn to stories with the holocaust in it.  every essay or speech i wrote in high school and college that was of a subject of choice was about the holocaust.  the book isn't mainly about that, but the main female character was once a concentration camp guard.  there is a movie version out starring kate winslet as the lead.  it is a short book and i'm glad i had the chance to read it.  there are some pretty racy parts in it, so its prob not for everyone.

i hope everyone is staying warm.  it is 12 degrees outside but feels like 4.  yikes.  around this time every year we get to see some of gareth's side of the family.  this winter feels incomplete without a trip to austin or oregon.  stay tuned to see if we make a last minute getaway!

life is FABULOUS!!!!!

wow, i am just super happy to be the mom of lilli AND sanoii.  these girls absolutely LOVE each other.   i knew that lilli was going to be a rad sis, but we are just amazed at how sweet she is to her and that she has never asked if we could return her.  i also can't believe how different these two gals look. 1 is sort of a mini gareth and 1 is a mini me.  (of course my mini me is the short chubby one!)

honestly, my christmas was strange.  i was very sad because i thought dixiemae was dying.  she was very sick all day and i thought i was going to have to say good bye to my closest companion of 11 years.  turns out that she has made a full recovery so i am just going to cherish every day with her and try to be more patient with her.  

i hope you all had a great christmas and that your new year will be GREAT!  i love new year because that means that gareth will be having a few weeks off soon.  our plans for a big vacation might be put on hold because he has to work longer than expected and has a couple buckets n boards gigs lined up on dates that get right in the way of a long trip.  i am still hoping to go to AZ, CA, and OR.  we are just going to have to see what turns up.  we are also planning a big trip to MAUI in november.  the first week. anyone who would like to go with us, let me know.  i will arrange the whole thing.  i would love for family or friends to join us.  everyone could start saving now!

i am also wayyy excited for jan 5th to get here.  that is my official day back at exercising.  i wont jump right into crossfit, but i will being doing more than sitting on the couch eating sweets... i will also post a before picture on my blog.  that will inspire me to hurry and get a flattering after picture up!  the best word to describe me right now is: jiggly.  i have quite a few friends that are marathon training and it drives me crazy to be a blob right now.  my friend libia just finished the dallas marathon.  everyone is very inspiring to me.  

"if you want peace, then peace is what you will choose"  eckhart tolle

enjoy the show!

YIPPPPEEEE and a YAHHHHOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sanoii Mae Sever 5lbs 15oz 17 inches long





my love!  perhaps a future midwife!
well, she is here!  our newest addition to our family is absolutely the sweetest tushiest gal around.  i can't help but wonder:  how did G and i get so blessed to have not 1 but 2 super rad girlies.  i am shocked at how different the two of them are as far as size.  lilli was a pound heavier and 3 inches taller!  sorry this has taken awhile to write the story of teeny SANOII (which is a hawaiian name and means mist of the mountain), but i have been living in the newborn bubble since she was born.  

and here is the story.  unedited.  so watch out for words like poop and blood and needles.....

it all started on sunday nov.23, 2008.  i felt a tad off all day and was hoping to have her that day because Lilli had predicted 6 days earlier that the baby was coming on sunday.  anywho, after sitting around for most of the day, i got up to do the electric slide with G, Lilli and our friend Bre.  after one round of sliding, i excused myself to go check my pants, for they felt strange.  there was a lil bit of bleeding, but nothing too alarming.  and no contractions.  soon, G was at work and called me to make sure i had the emergency number to get ahold of him at work.  at precisely 5:30 pm  ( showtime for G)  i lost my mucous plug.  i called his work and he left immediately.  when he got home he was rushing around to get stuff together.  however, i was just sitting on the stairs hanging out because i wasn't having any contractions.  (i will be typing that word a lot... from now on contraction will be: cx)  

we headed 30 mins to the hospital.  our midwife debbie checked me and i was at 5cm dilated with no cx.  i was at 3cm the week before and 2cm the week before that.  since i wasn't having cx she said we could go back home.  we stopped at Arby's to get a delicious jr. roast beef sandwich.  we get home close to 9pm.  and i started having cx.  but i was also busy texting some friends and suddenly i had to poop.  that was when i knew i was in labor.  for sure.  i didn't want to get off the toilet.  i didn't want to walk down the stairs.  i didn't want to get in the van.  somehow g got me in the back seat.  i was having some serious cx and lilli held my hand the whole trip down.  we got to the ER at 1030 and they were waiting with a wheel chair.  here's where it gets fun.

my midwife took one look at me and said that i was in transition.  nice... i pretty much skipped the first stage of labor.  they put me in the chair and hauled tush to the labor room.  the nurse pushing me was a tad... large.  my head was bouncing off of her belly with every stride she took.  i tried to lean forward but that was too painful.  we got in the room and the nurse attempted to put an iv in my hand and blew out my vein.  (which up until recently was very painful to the touch)  after she couldn't use that vein, she announced that it was because i didn't drink enough water that day.  i had no response because i was shaking uncontrollably and having major cx and was flat on my back.  she finally got an iv hooked into my arm and i was free to be in labor and off the bed.  the iv was for penicillin.  i was strep b positive which is why we had to stay 48 hrs at the hospital instead of 24.

we met our rad nurse.  Anna.  i got on the exercise ball and just had a few cx and listened to lilli talk to everyone about our dogs.  she would occasionally wipe my head with a damp cloth and feed me ice chips.  dang she was such a doll and i was happy to have her there distracting me.  speaking of distractions, the nurse decided that that was a good time to ask me random info questions.  in the middle of transition.  while having serious cx... like my SSN, address, would i like to have Sanoii featured in the local paper... how funny, we had to be there for 2 whole days they would have plenty of time to get the paper work done.  but i didn't mind the distractions.  

i was waiting for the wonderful reward of pushing.  it never really came, so i just told the midwife i couldn't wait to push.  with lilli the urge to push was what stands out in my mind as euphoric.  my midwife encouraged me to push with my next cx.  i did while squatting on the ground.  and peed.  they thought it was my amniotic fluid.  g corrected them as i pushed again and peed again.  next i hopped up on the bed and got on all fours and pushed.  pop!!!! there goes the water!  that was pretty rad.  the next push, out came her head.  i heard her crying!  while she was still mostly in.  one more push (which felt like i was being split up to my belly button) and the rest of her came out!  i couldn't believe that she was out!  i was in labor for like 2 hours and suddenly i'm not pregnant anymore!  they tried to hand her to me while i was still on all fours, so i said to just hand her to G.  everyone was saying how teeny she was and how much hair she had.  when i first saw her i thought that she looked identical to my baby picture.  she immediately started breast feeding and i was in heaven.  i had Lilli with me the whole time and she was wonderful and absolutely loves her baby sis!  everyone was saying it was such a beautiful birth.  to me, i would disagree.  i was on all fours with my tush in the air surrounded by strangers.  much the opposite of my lovely Lilli water birth.  however, my healing wassuper duper beautiful.  no tears, no sore nipples, just baby bliss.  

2 loooong days later, we are home with a complete family.  life.  is.  good.  i mean GREAT!!!!

  

no spend month wrap up and other interesting tidbits.

well, it seems like only a month ago that we embarked on the journey of the no spend month.  i decided after the first week not to bore you all with the details of where every penny went.  i was just really proud of the fact that we had eliminated our fancy coffee drinks to 25 cent soda once or twice week.  anywho, successful isn't a big enough word for the last month.  i don't have the exact total  that was spent yet, but we realized that although it was important to try to stick close to $250, the main point was just to become aware of where our money was going.  there were a few gray areas for me.  like when i bought stuff to do cakes or cupcakes and we would also use those things like sugar and flour and eggs and what not.  you don't count business expenses but hmmm.  also, we did luck out a few times.  my parents came for a weekend and took us out to dinners and stuff.  and then our other family from arizona came into town and got our meals a lot.  so right when i was starting to feel some serious thai withdrawals, i was rescued by my loved ones!

i strongly urge everyone to maybe at least try a week on this money diet if you are someone that usually doesn't keep track of what you spend your dough on.  i will be completely honest.  now that the challenge is over, i do plan on eating thai thai on various occasions and dropping in for a quick thai iced coffee.  a gals gotta live.  but no more target shopping just for fun for me.  it just doesn't feel the same.  well, not yet.  

so as i mentioned in an earlier post, since we weren't out shopping, we spent a lot of time at home hanging out.  i started reading the twilight series and holy guacamole... addicting, yo!  i've never read books as fast as i read these couple of books.  they are very mesmerizing somehow.  and of course it is fun to read a fiction romance packed with vampires and whatnot.  pretty much anyone who was into the harry potter books graduate to the twilight series.  i recommend  them to anyone who well... reads.  they are a fun break from reality.  however, they are addicting!  even gareth got into them just as much as i did!  we still have some more to read, but we are holding off for a bit.

more pictures will be up soon.  we have a few projects in the works.  we want to get all of these things done before the baby arrives.  we are quickly realizing that we are running out of time!  geez!  i cannot believe how FAST time has flown by.  i am, however, feeling every bit of 9 months pregnant.  tired.  enormous.  hungry.  tired.  chubby.  tired.  it has been pointed out twice now that i look ready to have the baby on account of my face... being bigger.  thanks.  that will go on my list of things to never say to a pregnant woman.  it is true though.  no matter how much weight you do or don't gain, your face just gets oddly swollen.  oh and halloween is a terrible time to be so pregnant.  bags and bags of chocolate just begging to be eaten.  and sugar cookies.  not fair.  

the best part of halloween is that lilli was rad.  there was a dixie halloween party and i whipped up her costume in literally 2 hours.  she won the costume contest and 50 smackaroos!  she was lil' skeeter.  in case you don't know, gareth is regular sized skeeter.  

also!!  don't forget to go vote on tuesday!!!!!!  i am sooo excited and will be making a t shirt for the big day...  i'll post it soon.  i wonder if anyone out there can figure out who is getting my vote.... hmmm....

fall, oh how i love thee.

the leaves are changing and all is wonderful in the world.  here are a few pictures that i took today.  if only i could take good pictures.  oh well, you kinda get the point though, eh?

Fun work and other projects.ther

besides doing cakes this passed few days i also did a painting of gareth's favorite horse.  he really likes the eye on the painting, so that's why there is a random picture of the eye.  his name is dickisaw.  he's a retired dixie stampede horse that now belongs to our friend kodii.  he's pretty set out there at her ranch.  i also want to do a painting of her donkey, rowdy.  we became buds while he followed me around chewing on my elbow.  

i wish i could take good pictures.  a lot of my friends can take great pictures.  does anyone out there want to be on call for me just in case a picture taking moment arises?  or at least after each cake i do, it'd be nice to get a picture without my shadow on it.  speaking of pictures, tomorrow i am going to take some of the beautiful fall foliage.  my FAVORITE time of the year!  it just makes you want to take a deep breath and relax.  and put on a sweatshirt.  i love sweatshirt weather.  all of my sweatshirts still fit me so from the front i just look like a chunk.  a happy cozy autumn loving chunk.   

eyes wide open

it has been a successful week to say the very least.  i have been super excited to tell you all about it.  hmmm but where to begin...

i guess for starters here is what we spent our money on this week:

week 1 $58.31 plus lilli gave a dollar to the dog pound.  (donations aren't included but anyway)

oct.1- 25 cents at lilli's dance class for skittles.

oct.2- $29.28 at the grocery store for dinners for a few days.  $1.78 later that day for a 2 liter of dr. pepper

0ct.4- 50 cents for mtn. dew at work

oct.6- $1 for 2 bottles of water at the dance studio and $24.00 at the grocery store for... food.

oct.7- 50 cents for mtn. dew at work 

i bet at first glance this list might look like we are depriving ourselves from every day treats or even needs.  however, it has been quite the opposite.  let me attempt to explain why.  

something wonderful happened when we took spending money out of the equation.  all of the wonderful things that come with having a family or living life in general magically float to the front of your mind.  there is so much more room for those thoughts when the clutter of money is taken out.  i never realized how much time i spent thinking of what we were going to buy that day until we no longer had need for those thoughts.  so much of my daily activities revolved around what store or especially what restaurant we were going to.  without that to think about, my mind was open to think about what family activity we were going to do.  this week we spent more time together than ever before.  by this i mean:  really together.  enjoying each other's company.  we weren't rushing around trying to get stuff done before gareth went to work.  we were really able to be awake in the moment.  it really is a cleansing experience and i feel like i have stumbled on an ancient secret that i want to pass on to the world.  when you live from what is necessary instead of desire... holy moly.  so much time is spent buying stuff.  stuff that will make you feel better about yourself for about a sec.  whether you are buying things to fit in or stand out, to show off how much money you have or how much money you saved on something, it all goes back to being happy.  shopping is fun and can make you happy, but not as happy as creating something yourself or as a family.  or just being together in general.  i have learned to relax.  and we don't spend time wondering what is on the agenda for the day.  we have our errands and we go do them as a family then we are back at home hanging out and usually cooking.  so much of our money was spent on going out to eat and then going to the grocery store and then still going out to eat for no reason. (i do hope we get some thai thai in on  our month... just being honest) i love to cook.  esp with lilli.  we've been baking a ton!  yummy cookies and breadsticks and of course biscuits.  at first i felt like it was a bad time to for me to do this whole no spend thing because i am 8 months pregnant.  i was thinking about how i needed to eat whatever i wanted.  turns out i'm happy with 3 dozen m&m oatmeal cookies!  this is the best time for me to do this.  when the new tiny stinky arrives, she'll be welcomed by a momma that will have a handle on happiness.  

i hope this doesn't sound a little much to you all, i am just the happiest person on earth and i highly recommend that you try it.  or at least be conscience in your everyday decisions and next time you shop, shop for what you really need.   (esp since our economy is the way it is because we all have bought more than we need)  which wont be for much.  since, in more ways than one, you probably already have it!